15th
April,2014
1:41 am
Roorkee
They
say that the best feeling is when you return to the place where you belong…call
it a Germany hangover or returning to home after 7 months or leaving my home
just within a week again to join back IIT Roorkee, but its not a good feeling…!
It’s like a partial amnesia, as if I was always here. Among these people, yet I
can feel no sense of belonging or nostalgia during my last days here…!!
Perhaps
people have changed, or perhaps I have changed…!or perhaps it’s the frustration
which results from a bad thesis review or the bloody IIT process of writing too
many applications. All the people around are either too busy drinking or
smoking “weed”…and perhaps I am the one who is already too high….that I crave
for a partner just for a long walk…! :-/
Or
Maybe I am too tired after my review on weekend….and living life as a refugee
in my friends room…but how can people spend an entire day locked in a smoke
filled room…and it’s so difficult to make certain people understand the value
of privacy, when pestered by Questions like Where are you going? Whom are you
going to meet?? And blah blah blah…!!
I
thought I would be happy to see all the people in roorkee…!but I am missing
home more than anything else right now and want my own space where I can hide
myself just for a few days…away from the scrutiny of the curious.
It’s
a terrifying feeling when you realize that your two year vacation is about to
end, and you have to be back into the real world…! Which is horrific…in many
terms…
I
realized after coming back…did the people whom I call my best friends here
actually miss me when I was away for 7 months ?For it was me who used to call
them from Germany…it was me who used to ping them on facebook chats…!! I know
some of these things might be kiddish…but these things do matter…!
The
brain right now is fucked up, and the heart too…! The sense of having a friend
..a buddy…is lost now..! and the icing on the cake…The Thesis, which never
ends.
I
guess I might feel better after a cup of tea, but there are sometimes when even
a hot cup of tea is not enough to drain away your frustration, especially if
you are not a frequent drinker..! I wished I get back my love for hard liquor
or weed(for which I never had any love, but I hated it).
And
I wish the old friends realize that their friend is actually back…! I haven’t
changed, the campus still looks the same, I still roam in my kurta-jeans and
chappals, and I still have the same cup of tea-biscuit when I go to canteen at
odd hours, What then is missing ?
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