My tryst with Carnatic music !

"If music be the food for love, play on".

I live by this quote. In a pretentious, trying too hard to be utopic world, music is the only thing which is perhaps close to a real emotion. If people ask me to name one thing which i miss in Japan, then the answer would be my music classes, and the associated cultural diaspora with it.
So, my tryst with carnatic vocal music started together when i started singing in Christ Church Youth Choir, not that i was fit to be called to be in a "youth" group, because i was already close to 28 then. But, after a long, long time i decided that it's high time that i do justice to the musical side of me, and therefore, the choir was only the beginning, but the only problem was, i wasn't that good with English songs and had no idea about the order of the mass either. But interestingly, i was lucky enough to be taught by my student, during daytime i was her teacher, and during evening practice in church and on sundays, she was the choir master. Simultaneously, another student of mine introduced me to Carnatic vocal music.
Since childhood, i had always grown up listening to carnatic songs, given my tamil background, but never had a chance to learn it, since there were no options in North India for such thing way back in the 90s. But anyway, better late than never.
When i moved from Manipal to Bhopal, finding a teacher for Carnatic music was difficult. So, after several emails to Bhopal Tamil Association and after several calls, i got a chance to learn carnatic from Mrs.Shantha B.K. Iyer, what a lady ! Amazing voice even at the age of 68, she encouraged me to sing more. I told her that i am not confident since generally, people start learning music at a very young age. She told me the exact same thing as my previous student-teachers had told me, that nothing is impossible if you practice. Well, i did it, and now Carnatic vocal music and Church Choir music has become my lifeline.

My lifeline while battling with struggles to get a Phd position, and my encouragement while struggling with depression. Music is like a therapy, indeed. Even though, it was quite difficult to practice after coming back dead tired from work, i tried hard. During these days, one particular song caught my attention, "Naino mein badra chaaye" based on Raaga Bhimpalas from an old hindi movie. What a song, and i practised it several times with my Shruthi box. So much, that even my neighbors in Bhopal became aware of my singing. (Anyone will be, if you sing at 2a.m in the night, when the world sleeps).
Then content writing with Anahad foundation happened and i got to actually write about music. Music and writing, two of my passions combined. Even though, these two things have absolutely nothing to do with my career, yet, i proudly mention them on my resume.
When you feel down and feel that you can't take it anymore, sing.
Somehow, the music has started to fade from my life, but still, i try to keep it alive here by joining a choir again.
But, it's not easy to give up old habits, and music has become a habit. It is something which helps me focus, and i just lose myself in it. Out of hanging out with friends and listening to Carnatic music with a good cup of tea, i would always chose the latter. :P

The question really is, how to keep your attention focused to things which you are actually supposed to do ? Like doing your research, doing the language class homework, or the numerous assignments ? When you have too many passions, its almost "Jack of all trades, and master of none". Yes, i do lose hope that i may never be able to master learning music, or research, or a new language, but then, i enjoy the journey and learning process, without stressing myself over the outcome too much.
I can write a 6 page research paper while simultaneously listening to Bombay Jayashree's Sindhu Bhairavi Thillana or i can work on my presentation while losing myself in the melodies of "Kanha main tose haari". Welcome to the new age multitasking people !

When i started learning music, i wasn't encouraged by many, who didn't like my voice. Well, haters gonna hate you anyway, but i tried to remain positive without caring much about what others think. Haters can go to hell. Nothing makes me happier than discussing about music, arts, culture, history, and the list is long....!!

Even though these days are full of struggle, and i sit down dejected at times, when i seem to be the only dumb person in the language class, or when i am unable to explain my "research questions" in lab seminars, or when i am just too overwhelmed at times when there is nobody to talk to, music always comes to the rescue.
So either you can give way to dejection, or find new things to do. I choose the latter. New things, new city, new friends, new language, new paperwork, new research, new assignments, but the music and the playlist on my laptop remains the same. In a world thats constantly changing, music has become like that never aging friend who is always by your side.

Because, that is the real me.

So, its 2:28 am on a hot, sultry night in Kyoto, and i am listening to MS Subbalakshmi's Thillana in Raaga Dhanasri, could it "be" more perfect ??

Cheers.

Back to the “Student Life” and Survival on Junk food.

12.48 am, 29^th April 2018, Kyoto

Back to the “Student Life” and Survival on Junk food.

Two rejections from Germany, that too after an interview, plus numerous other rejections for Phd position applications, the never ending cycle of wait, agony, and the ecstasy of finally getting the MEXT Scholarship in Kyoto. The past years have been full of struggles, disappointments, despair, rediscovery and pleasure. Perfect recipe for a typical Indian dish with all the spices served right, only this time, the spices burned my throat!!

Well, I wasn’t really keen when I got admission in Kyoto University, to be honest, because my European dream was rejected. But now that I am here, I couldn’t help but love Kyoto and Japan, for their culture, their politeness, hospitality, and serenity. Kyoto, once the capital of Japan is full of shrines, temples and historic sites, what else can a History lover expect?

It’s an era of new life experiences and things which I have never seen before. Kerala, Delhi, Ghaziabad, Roorkee, Auroville, Pondicherry, Germany, Manipal, Bhopal and finally Kyoto. So many places, so many travels, and numerous experiences, both good and bad. But I guess, this is what makes us independent. For a person who loves to read, experiencing a new place is no less than reading a new book.

As I make my way through the lanes of Kyoto, riding a bicycle after 13 years with these smoke-filled lungs, I feel a sense of joy, even though life is hectic with language classes thrice a week, plus one course and seminar, I like it, though I am overwhelmed at times. Learning a new language is no easy task at the age of 30! But yes, I like learning, and then spreading the knowledge around, because that’s what I have done for the past 4 years. As they say, life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.

The good part of living in so many places is that it has given me a sense of independence. Even though the people here hardly speak any English, there was no communication barrier because then I use “sign” language. That is, explaining what I want through gestures, and hats off to the patience which Japanese people seem to have. Also, I don’t know why people crib about being lonely. It’s one of the things to cherish. Do whatever you want without any obligations.

Today I visited a place known as Kinkaku-ji, which is a Zen Buddhist temple in Kyoto. I remember the days when I used to be hesitant in going to some place alone, but now somehow it seems easy.

“I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity”

-Albert Einstein

Solitude makes you strong, yes, it does. And it gives you a new perspective on life, and I still have no idea why people get this idea that if I go to new places alone, I might be really depressed, and all I get is their pitiful comments. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than doing what I want, without the obligation of doing what others do, which happens when you travel in a group. Sure, group traveling is fun, but also, depends on the place where you go.

Maybe, studying Architecture and Urban Planning has made me crazy, to a certain extent. But I shall wear this weirdness like a symbol of honor, like I always have.

Well, It’s almost the end of my first month in Kyoto, and life has changed, just a couple of months back, I was teaching students in a college, and now I am one of the students, struggling to reach my classes on time, coping up with learning a new language, and struggling to stay awake during 3 plus hours of seminar, now I know why students were so sleepy all the time during the lectures. Absolutely no one has an attention span of more than 45 minutes!! Let alone having listening to 4 presentations in one go.

So, one month down and more than 3 years to go…! Maybe one fine day I will chose to end my procrastination and begin work on research… but till then, its Netflix and chill time.

Good night.